When people see you, what are they seeing?

A lot of things happened this year at Free Spirit Gathering. Here are four things that stick out in my mind.

1. On Tuesday night we had the opening Sumbel. I made an off handed comment about being a Lokean and a woman who was sitting to my right in the circle scooted away from me. When I asked her what she was doing she proclaimed that she was a devotee of Heimdallr in such a way that made it clear that that to her the proclamation excused her rudeness.  
2. A Gothi of Baldr  told me that because of who I am as a person, and the way that I carry myself, he would be willing to attend the Loki Blot I was hosting. A Gothi of Baldr. Of BALDR. Yeah.
3. A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Son of Heimdallr, hailed Loki in a blot. It wasn't even a blot for Loki. 
4. A person who I hold in high regard told me that my behavior as a Lokean, as well as past conversations she and I have had, made her comfortable enough to allow someone to add Loki to a shrine in her home. 

Things happened in that exact order.

Maybe I am reading into things, though I will be honest - I do not think I am, but I see those things falling the way they did as a sign from the gods.

I have worked hard in the past four years to remind people that Loki is not just chaos. He is truth. He is home and family. He is an oath keeper. He is the fire of destruction but that fire often burns away the rot and stagnation that keep people from growth. Loki is more than the box most people paint Him into.

So, even though one woman did a disservice to her god and was rude, three other people reminded me that I am exactly what Brigid and Loki have asked me to be. I am a light in the darkness. I shine Their fire out into the world and people are starting to see it. Starting to take notice.

Hail Loki, World Breaker.
Hail Baldr, Joyous One
Hail Heimdallr, Watcher in the Night.
Hail Brigid, Flaming Arrow.

Hail the my Kindred. Hail to the family of my heart and hearth. Hail to all who look beyond the surface of things.

Even a weak flame can burn steadily on.

Yesterday my older sister turned thirty five and I had a cill shift for Brigid.

I always say that Loki is the presence behind all the healing in my relationships but that is not the case here. Brigid is, and always has been, the driving force behind my tentative relationship with my older sister. I wish I could say that I adore my older sister. I wish I could say that we have inside jokes and that I am overjoyed to see her when I visit my family in Washington State.
I wish I could say that I know her and like her.

I can't say those things though, and truth be told it causes me pain to know that I don't give her a chance.

I know what Brigid wants here. She wants the same thing Loki wants. They want me to fix this relationship. My sister has tried, in so far as she is able. I know that she could try harder, but then again...so could I.

A few years ago my older sister was going through a deeply painful and emotionally draining situation and I did the only thing I could think of to give her comfort. I gave her a Brigid's Cross necklace and told her to pray to Brigid for strength. When that necklace broke last year I bought her a new one and as far as I know, she wears is daily.

I see my relationship with my sister as a small flame. It's tiny, but it holds strong in the wind that beats against it. Much like Brigid did in a world that tried to forget Her.

It is my prayer that one day our tiny flame will be as large as the hearth fire that is my relationship with my younger sister.

Happy 35th Birthday Christina. I love you, though I do not know how to express it to you. I wish for you only the best in the years to come. May Brigid's sacred flame always burn brightly in your heart and hearth and may you always know the strength of Her arms around you.

Bees - a poem for Brigid

As a girl I heard that God would give us wings like eagles.

I never dreamt of eagles wings.

I longed for the delicate wings of the bee.

Small, yet mighty.

It wasn’t an eagles wings that flew me to the feet of the divine.

I was carried there on the wings of bees.

A colony. A hive.

Small, yet mighty.

They lifted me.

They guided me.

They took me to Her.

At Her feet I was left.

At Her table I was fed.

At Her side, I am learning.

She, who is the fire.

She, the living water.

She, the flamed haired one.

Brigid. Bríd. Brigantia.

Her name, like honey on my lips.

Her hands carried me - like so many bees.

And lay me down on a field of green.

Where I thrive.

Where I grow.

As a girl, I was told that God would help me rise up on the wings of eagles.

As a woman, I know that we don’t need eagles to survive.

We need bees.

Their Altar

One of the things I have noticed, and written about before, about worshiping Loki is this: You don't JUST worship Loki.

He comes with others. He isn't alone. Maybe He will bring His children. Maybe one of His wives. Maybe His mother. Maybe His blood brother. He knows who He wants to have with Him. My worship of Loki always includes Sigyn. His altar space in my home has toys and candy for Narvi and Vali and if I light a candle for Him there had better be a candle for Sigyn. There is no other option.

When my coven decided we would do a Pagan style lent and spend the days between Imbolc and Ostara saying a shared daily prayer (along with prayers to our personal deities) it never even crossed my mind to NOT light a candle for Her.

I love Brigid. She has my heart in ways I can not explain. I adore Loki. Where They lead me I will always follow. Freyja has been here for a while as well but Sigyn... I never expected her. I've slowly slipped into a place where I can not worship Him without thinking of Her. She keeps Him strong. She keeps Him young. She reminds Him that love is alive and allowed and real. She ... She is amazing.

So, before I get too choked up thinking about it, here is Their altar. It started out as Loki's space. Slowly, over the past year, it has become Their space. It is only just now though, as I write this, that I realize how much more my life is because She stands by His side and He refuses to let Her be looked over. It just accrued to me that I need another candle. This one for Angrboda.

Hail Loki! Hail Sigyn! Hail Narvi & Vali! Hail Angrboda!

Goddess of Poetry...

My coven decided to honor the three faces of Brigid for Imbolc. I was given the task of writing something for the aspect of Her that is the Goddess of poetry. This is the result.

Goddess of Poetry.

Oh! Goddess of mine.

Sweet Bríd, the ink of my pen.

You inspire me.

My words, blessed by you.

Refined in your sacred fire.

These words, my soul bared.

You speak and I write.

My words inspired by you.

Bright poetic flame.

Hail, to you, Brigid.

Goddess of Inspiration.

words flow like water.

Bríd. Sacred water.

Inspiration flows from you.

Verdant cloaked Goddess.

Give me words to write.

You are the Mother of Bards.

Shakespeares one true muse.

Hail Brigid.  

Be A Light In Dark Places

I love you Flaming Arrow.

I love you Lady of the Forge.

I love you Healing Waters.

I love you Goddess turned Saint.

I love you Forever Flame.

I love you Flaming Hair.

I love you Lady of Kildare.

I love you Daughter of Danu.

I love you Lady of Imbolc.

Brigid. Brìghde. Fraid. Breo Saighead. Bríd.

Sweet Lady of Flame and Healing Waters, I love you.

Hail Bríd. Mother of my heart. Beloved Goddess.

I adore you.