So. It's been a year since my last post.

It's been a year since my last post. I come to you again on the heels of Free Spirit Gathering.

Things were interesting this time around.

The week before FSG I decided to blood my runes. After they were done I stood over the runes and said 'All Father, tell me what you want me to know'.

I pulled Perthro. I took it as a 'more to follow later' combined with a 'yes, these are runes' message.

The 'more to follow later' could have meant any length of time. I assumed it meant in a few weeks.
Maybe it still does. I don't know. What I do know though, is this.

On Wednesday morning I stood with my kinsmen - I'm part of a Kindred now too. Yay me! - and friends and toasted Odin in a blot. I'd already worked it out with the person hosting the blot that I would also be toasting Loki in the blot along side His blood brother, and I did as much when the horn was passed to me. I figured that was the end of my Odin interactions for the week. I was wrong.

I attended a UToS ritual on Wednesday night because I wanted to offer up worship to Eris - I was Contrary in the FSG Main Ritual and figured She was the deity to go to - and it turned out that Odin and Loki were on the list of spirits to be invoked.

Now, I am not going to lie. I am a skeptic when it comes to possession. Hell, I'm a skeptic about almost all things woo. I tend to think most people are full of shit regarding most things. I tried to keep an open mind about this particular ritual though. Mostly because three people I hold in high regard are in UToS but also because one of my kinsman (hi Wolf!) called me out a few months ago about not embracing woo because it scares me a bit. I figured it was time to step up and at least see what UToS was all about. I had a good time. It was joyous and festive and I even got up and joined in the merry making and chanting a few times. That in and of itself is a huge step for me.

Anyway, when Odin's chant started I got up and chanted and sang and offered up my energy as an offering for His presence. I assume He found our songs and chants acceptable because He showed up.

Horsing a woman who I know fairly well, Odin attended the ritual.

I was able to ask him about my runes and thank him for saving my life after my last suicide attempt. I was also given a lesson.

You see, I asked Him a week before what He wanted me to know. Perthro told me to wait, and I figured I would be waiting a while. Turns out I was only waiting until that night, when He could speak to me face to face.

I came out of the bathroom and Odin was there waiting for me. He took my hands and asked me if I had anything prepared for Loki. I said no. He told me to figure something out.

About twenty minutes later Odin came up to me again and asked if I'd been trying to find something. I hadn't and had to say as much. He gave me a look that said 'get your ass in gear' and walked off.

I borrowed someones phone - mine was back in my cabin - and did a quick (aka half assed) google search for chants and songs for Loki.

Nothing really came up that I was interested in doing in the ritual so I brushed it off.

Odin came up to me one more time and whispered in my ear 'you know, Loki is on the list'. That was all He said. It was also the last time He spoke to me that night.

Not long after that Loki's turn came and people were shouting for me to come up and lead the chant/song. I had nothing to offer (because I was lazy and also because I was butthurt that I needed to provide a chant when I hadn't put Him on the list in the first place). I said as much - not the butthurt or lazy bit fyi. Someone else offered up Behind Blue Eyes - which is an amazing fit for Himself - and I started walking and singing along. My heart hurting a bit more and guilt burning a bit hotter with each step I took and each word I sang.

I caught Odin's eye as I walked with my fellow Loki worshipers. He looked sad and disappointed. He shook His head and looked away from me.

I'm not going to lie, that broke my heart a bit. I'm not sure if you've ever had to look into the face of your god and have Them look back at you with disappointment, but let me tell you. It's hurts.

I walked away from that ritual knowing that I would never go unprepared again. I will make sure that there is a song of Loki at any and all rituals I attend in the future. Not just because Odin wanted me to, and not just because it's the thing I need to do to honor Loki, but because I am a Lokean that is making noise. People know what I am. I've come to the point where I am starting to gain a reputation and it is my duty to make sure that the name I make for myself reflects well not only on me and my ancestors but also on my kindred.

Hail All Father.
Hail Sly One
Hail Glass Maker (you know who you are!)
Hail Learning Opportunities. 
Hail Growth.
Hail WardenHeart!

When people see you, what are they seeing?

A lot of things happened this year at Free Spirit Gathering. Here are four things that stick out in my mind.

1. On Tuesday night we had the opening Sumbel. I made an off handed comment about being a Lokean and a woman who was sitting to my right in the circle scooted away from me. When I asked her what she was doing she proclaimed that she was a devotee of Heimdallr in such a way that made it clear that that to her the proclamation excused her rudeness.  
2. A Gothi of Baldr  told me that because of who I am as a person, and the way that I carry myself, he would be willing to attend the Loki Blot I was hosting. A Gothi of Baldr. Of BALDR. Yeah.
3. A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Son of Heimdallr, hailed Loki in a blot. It wasn't even a blot for Loki. 
4. A person who I hold in high regard told me that my behavior as a Lokean, as well as past conversations she and I have had, made her comfortable enough to allow someone to add Loki to a shrine in her home. 

Things happened in that exact order.

Maybe I am reading into things, though I will be honest - I do not think I am, but I see those things falling the way they did as a sign from the gods.

I have worked hard in the past four years to remind people that Loki is not just chaos. He is truth. He is home and family. He is an oath keeper. He is the fire of destruction but that fire often burns away the rot and stagnation that keep people from growth. Loki is more than the box most people paint Him into.

So, even though one woman did a disservice to her god and was rude, three other people reminded me that I am exactly what Brigid and Loki have asked me to be. I am a light in the darkness. I shine Their fire out into the world and people are starting to see it. Starting to take notice.

Hail Loki, World Breaker.
Hail Baldr, Joyous One
Hail Heimdallr, Watcher in the Night.
Hail Brigid, Flaming Arrow.

Hail the my Kindred. Hail to the family of my heart and hearth. Hail to all who look beyond the surface of things.

Even a weak flame can burn steadily on.

Yesterday my older sister turned thirty five and I had a cill shift for Brigid.

I always say that Loki is the presence behind all the healing in my relationships but that is not the case here. Brigid is, and always has been, the driving force behind my tentative relationship with my older sister. I wish I could say that I adore my older sister. I wish I could say that we have inside jokes and that I am overjoyed to see her when I visit my family in Washington State.
I wish I could say that I know her and like her.

I can't say those things though, and truth be told it causes me pain to know that I don't give her a chance.

I know what Brigid wants here. She wants the same thing Loki wants. They want me to fix this relationship. My sister has tried, in so far as she is able. I know that she could try harder, but then again...so could I.

A few years ago my older sister was going through a deeply painful and emotionally draining situation and I did the only thing I could think of to give her comfort. I gave her a Brigid's Cross necklace and told her to pray to Brigid for strength. When that necklace broke last year I bought her a new one and as far as I know, she wears is daily.

I see my relationship with my sister as a small flame. It's tiny, but it holds strong in the wind that beats against it. Much like Brigid did in a world that tried to forget Her.

It is my prayer that one day our tiny flame will be as large as the hearth fire that is my relationship with my younger sister.

Happy 35th Birthday Christina. I love you, though I do not know how to express it to you. I wish for you only the best in the years to come. May Brigid's sacred flame always burn brightly in your heart and hearth and may you always know the strength of Her arms around you.

Bees - a poem for Brigid

As a girl I heard that God would give us wings like eagles.

I never dreamt of eagles wings.

I longed for the delicate wings of the bee.

Small, yet mighty.

It wasn’t an eagles wings that flew me to the feet of the divine.

I was carried there on the wings of bees.

A colony. A hive.

Small, yet mighty.

They lifted me.

They guided me.

They took me to Her.

At Her feet I was left.

At Her table I was fed.

At Her side, I am learning.

She, who is the fire.

She, the living water.

She, the flamed haired one.

Brigid. Bríd. Brigantia.

Her name, like honey on my lips.

Her hands carried me - like so many bees.

And lay me down on a field of green.

Where I thrive.

Where I grow.

As a girl, I was told that God would help me rise up on the wings of eagles.

As a woman, I know that we don’t need eagles to survive.

We need bees.

Their Altar

One of the things I have noticed, and written about before, about worshiping Loki is this: You don't JUST worship Loki.

He comes with others. He isn't alone. Maybe He will bring His children. Maybe one of His wives. Maybe His mother. Maybe His blood brother. He knows who He wants to have with Him. My worship of Loki always includes Sigyn. His altar space in my home has toys and candy for Narvi and Vali and if I light a candle for Him there had better be a candle for Sigyn. There is no other option.

When my coven decided we would do a Pagan style lent and spend the days between Imbolc and Ostara saying a shared daily prayer (along with prayers to our personal deities) it never even crossed my mind to NOT light a candle for Her.

I love Brigid. She has my heart in ways I can not explain. I adore Loki. Where They lead me I will always follow. Freyja has been here for a while as well but Sigyn... I never expected her. I've slowly slipped into a place where I can not worship Him without thinking of Her. She keeps Him strong. She keeps Him young. She reminds Him that love is alive and allowed and real. She ... She is amazing.

So, before I get too choked up thinking about it, here is Their altar. It started out as Loki's space. Slowly, over the past year, it has become Their space. It is only just now though, as I write this, that I realize how much more my life is because She stands by His side and He refuses to let Her be looked over. It just accrued to me that I need another candle. This one for Angrboda.

Hail Loki! Hail Sigyn! Hail Narvi & Vali! Hail Angrboda!

Goddess of Poetry...

My coven decided to honor the three faces of Brigid for Imbolc. I was given the task of writing something for the aspect of Her that is the Goddess of poetry. This is the result.

Goddess of Poetry.

Oh! Goddess of mine.

Sweet Bríd, the ink of my pen.

You inspire me.

My words, blessed by you.

Refined in your sacred fire.

These words, my soul bared.

You speak and I write.

My words inspired by you.

Bright poetic flame.

Hail, to you, Brigid.

Goddess of Inspiration.

words flow like water.

Bríd. Sacred water.

Inspiration flows from you.

Verdant cloaked Goddess.

Give me words to write.

You are the Mother of Bards.

Shakespeares one true muse.

Hail Brigid.  

Be A Light In Dark Places

I love you Flaming Arrow.

I love you Lady of the Forge.

I love you Healing Waters.

I love you Goddess turned Saint.

I love you Forever Flame.

I love you Flaming Hair.

I love you Lady of Kildare.

I love you Daughter of Danu.

I love you Lady of Imbolc.

Brigid. Brìghde. Fraid. Breo Saighead. Bríd.

Sweet Lady of Flame and Healing Waters, I love you.

Hail Bríd. Mother of my heart. Beloved Goddess.

I adore you.

Shine bright, like a diamond.

I've been given a bit of guff from members of the Pagan community because of my blending of Jewish traditions into my personal path/religious practice.

I've never really understood why people take issue with it, but like many things that go unanswered, I'm not overly concerned with the whys. I am happy with my path and the steps I am  taking along it. I don't give a flying frog fart about what other people think about it. It is MY journey after all. Not theirs.

I am saying this because tonight I will be lighting the two menorahs we own and sitting in the glow of the candle light and reflecting on how I can be like those candles.

You see, when I light the candles I make sure all of the lights in my apartment are off. I then light the shamash (shamash means servant and is the candle that sits slightly higher than the rest. It is used to light the candles with. Basically, a "need fire" candle) and reflect on how I am like the little candle. On it's own the shamash gives off a bit of light but not all that much. It is bright in the darkness but it is alone.

As I say the prayers and light the other candles I reflect on how those candles are like the people around me. The men and women I deal with on a daily basis. The shamash shares it's flame with the other candles and takes them from from thin bits of wax and turns them into shining beacons. Warm and bright in the darkness.

When all of the candles are lit my apartment has a bit of a glow to it. Warmth radiates from my altar (where I keep the menorahs) and the living room is bright enough that I can see in the darkness. Sure, the candles don't light all of the rooms in my apartment but the room I am in is warm and filled with cheer because of those tiny lights, all in a row, working together to push aside the darkness.

That is really what the winter holidays are all about in my opinion. They aren't about the Christ child, or the newly born Sun god. They aren't about a battle fought by a rag-tag army generations upon generations ago. They aren't about heritage or culture. The winter holidays are about light in the darkness. They are about hope for a new beginning. The sweet promise of a new and better time to come.

We celebrate in the darkness with our lights because we are celebrating, just as our ancestors did, a time when the dark was more than winter gloom. We are celebrating a promise. The promise of a spring to come. We are celebrating the hope that we will live through the dark and cold. Through the snow and ice that is surely to come. We are celebrating the idea that we will be here to see the spring again and know the warmth of the sun on our faces.

We are all lighting candles, or tree lights, and sending unspoken wishes of survival out into the dark. Each candle and light is a tiny statement of bravery. Each pinprick of light is shinning in the darkness and proclaiming that it knows that the darkness and cold of winter are coming but that it is not afraid because it is not alone.

It is my prayer for you, as I light my Chanukah candles and then again for Saint Lucia day, then the 12 days of Yule, that you will be a light in the darkness.

May your inner light of strength and compassion shine brightly in the darkness.
May you find peace and happiness in the years to come.
May you be a beacon unto those who need a helping hand.

Happy Holidays and to tweak a quote from Tiny Tim...

May the Gods bless us, every one!

Can I use a birthday candle in a pinch?

Today is my 30th birthday. When I think about the implications of that I smile. 

I have taken 30 trips around the sun. I have lived, laughed, loved, cried, fought, and fallen in love for 30 years. While that number isn't as "great" as the numbers my friends and family can claim, I am happy with it. 

As I have mentioned in past posts, I love Loki but my heart belongs to Brigid. Not only is it my birthday, but I also have a flame tending shift for Her today. I am having a hard time not seeing that as a sign. 

I have been struggling with the idea of who I am in regards Her and the faces of the Goddess for a few months. 

I am not a maiden by any stretch of the imagination, but I am also not the traditional idea of a mother. 

It is my hope, and if I am honest with myself my birthday wish, that I will be able to call myself a Priestess of Brigid by the time I have completed my 40th trip around the sun. 

And on that note... I have nothing else to say besides:

Hail Brigid, 

Breo-saighead - Flaming Arrow.

Fire of Inspiration.

Smith of so much more than metal. 

Lady of Fire and Water.

You are my heart. 

You are my passion.

You are my Goddess.

I honor you today. 

Hail Brigid.

Candle in my window...

I once read that if you place a candle in your window on Samhain that it keeps the "bad" spirits out and lets the "good" spirits in. For some reason that stuck with me and every Samhain (okay... usually I start at sundown on Oct 30th) I put a candle in the window. When it starts to fade, a new candle is added. When I had a front porch, I put out Jack-o-lanterns.

This year, all I have is the candle in the window but I know that it is enough.

I've changed a lot in the past year. My path is more defined for me and I am stronger in myself and more confident in my beliefs. Last Samhain the candle was in the window to welcome the good spirits and to ward off the bad spirits. This year the candle isn't a ward but a message. It is a message to my beloved dead. It is shining in the darkness to let them know that I remember them and that this day, this time, is for them.

Tonight I honor my ancestors in general but there are a few specific people I will be saying prayers for and honoring.

My Grandpa Frank is honored today/tonight (as he always is). His picture is a permanent fixture on my altar and after the sun comes up I will run to the store and get him orange soda. I have no memories of Grandpa Frank as he died long before I was born (Nov 28th, 1960). The few stories I have heard about him make me smile and one of them involves him walking through a grocery store collecting the things he needed to make a sandwich and then making the sandwich right there in the store. Apparently he did this when my Aunt Rosie (his sister-in-law) was with him and she refused to go to the store with him ever again. My mother used to open bags of chips and bottles of water in the grocery store when she was shopping and it always embarrassed the hell out of me so I can understand my Aunt Rosie's pain here...

My Uncle Terry will be honored today/tonight. Unfortunately I didn't get to know him all that well. He passed away when I was six. I don't remember much about him except that he was just SUPER tall. Granted, when you are six everyone is tall but I think Uncle Terry really was tall. He was a good man. My mother never had an unkind thing to say about him and to this day she speaks of him with a fondness that she rarely shows in regards to my father’s side of the family. He helped my mother write up and file her divorce papers so that she could leave my father (his younger brother). I'm not sure why but I see that as a true act of courage. One of my favorite relatives is his daughter Alicia. She is every bit the good person he was and when she smiles, sometimes I can see him in her face.

My Great Grandma Cole will be honored today/tonight. When my mother was abandoned by her mother and step-father Grandma Cole stood by her side. She loved her unconditionally and when she passed away in February my mother’s heart broke. I didn't feel Grandma's death as deeply but the sadness that still radiates off of my mother when Grandma Cole is brought up speaks to the place she held in my mom’s heart. I am ashamed to admit that I avoided calling her on the phone because she talked to me about people I didn't know and I rarely wrote her letters aside from her yearly Christmas card. As is typical, I wish I had taken the time and gotten to know her better.

My Aunt Rosie will be honored today/tonight. Aunt Rosie also looked after my mom and refused to stop talking to her when mom's parents abandoned her. When Aunt Rosie died mom was upset but she focused on Grandma Cole (Rosie and Grandma Cole lived together and I can't remember a time when they didn't). I called Aunt Rosie 'Mad Madame Mim' because she reminded me of the character Mim from The Sword in the Stone. Aunt Rosie had a garden in her yard and fake plants in her house. If you touched her fake plants she would slap you with a fly swatter. She loved the color orange and the Seattle Mariners. She and Grandma Cole were huge baseball fans and I find it fitting that last night was the last game World Series. Tonight when I light their candles I will tell them all about the series and the BoSox win at home last night.

My husband’s best friend Nick will be honored today/tonight. Nick was a character. Handsome and smart, skinny as a rail with an appetite to rival Loki's (when he battled against fire in Jötunheimr). The first time I met him he threatened to kill me if I broke my husband’s heart. His death left my husband devastated and to this day that pain still shows in his eyes if Nick is mentioned. Nick was the first person I toasted in Sumbel and he is always honored in my home when we honor our beloved dead.

There are others who I will light candles for. Other people who have passed on but still linger in my heart, but those listed above are the people who I will honor not only tonight but also this weekend when my coven gets together.

May your Samhain/WinterNights be blessed and full of good memories of your ancestors and beloved dead. May your Hallowe'en be full of treats, not tricks. May your New Year be full of love, light, laughter, and happiness.

This is all kinds of off the cuff

This is a quick and dirty post.

I came across this gif on tumblr and immediately the word "Hel" came to mind.

So this is for Hel.

Hail Hel
Lady of two faces.
Beauty in life and Beauty in death.
Help me honor my dead.
Teach me the ways of remembrance.
Show me your face, that I might embrace the reality of my own mortality.
Mighty Hel. Mother of Bones.

This is why we can't have nice things...

While putzing around on Pinterest I came across this little gem.

Obviously the best way to get people to take the Pagan community seriously is by boycotting movies that paint witches in a bad light and advocate killing "bad" witches.

You know who else kills children and practices "The Dark Arts"? Lord Voldemort. That's right. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is a "bad witch". Obviously his behavior shines a negative light on real life Witches. Time to boycott Harry Potter.

Also, The Sanderson Sisters. Those three meanies are just the worst kind of "bad". Not only are Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy playing ugly witches, they also want to kill ALL the children in Salem. Time to boycott Hocus Pocus. Probably we should take it a step further and boycott Sex In The City (SJP plays Carrie Bradshaw), Sister Act 1 & 2 (KN plays Sister Mary Patrick), and Beaches (Bette is the star of this movie) as well. Oh! We also need to boycott First Wives Club (which has both SJP & Bette).

Obviously we need to boycott The Wizard of Oz as well as the musical Wicked. To be safe lets also boycott Oz, The Great and Powerful. Maybe we should just boycott everything Oz related because of how the franchise portrays witches.

Let us not forget ABC Family, which plays ALL OF THESE MOVIES (okay, maybe not Beaches) through out the year. I mean COME ON! They are not only pushing the Anti-Witch movement, they are pretty much keeping it going through out the year. Soon, they will probably just change their name to: ABC Family - Kill All Witches, because they deserve it!

Probably we should have ourselves a good old fashioned book burning as well because the Harry Potter and Oz franchises both started out as books.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is why no one takes us seriously. By us I mean Pagans in general, not just Pagans who identify as Witches.

There are so many other things to get up in arms about in regards to they way we are treated as a community. If you want to raise awareness of who Pagans are and what they believe in, perhaps you should get involved in your local Pagan community. I bet it would get a lot more done and frankly, it will make you look like less of a fucking asshole.

Boycotting movies and throwing fits about the way the media portrays Witches is a stupid waste of time.
Get off your asses and do something real for a change.

Not just a Heathen problem.

My mother loves Jesus and Elvis. Both of them have churches. Both of them have crazy followers. Both of them speak to her soul.

My five year old niece believes in Buddha, Narasimha Deva and glitter. Her faith has never wavered.

My youngest nephew coined the phrase PaganHinJew. He is excited to light the Shabbat candles with me next week when I visit them, but he flat refuses to give up bacon.

My husband is a Hare Krsna.

Each member of my coven has a Hindu deity that they worship.

My oldest friend just recently embraced Paganism and is on a spiritual high from the Earth Mothers love.

We are more than the blood in our veins or the land that our forefathers came from. Ancestors aren't just family members. The Gods don't give a rusty fuck where your fathers fathers father is from. They care about who you are, and where you are going.

If you have a problem with someone embracing the non-white Gods of their Ancestors, feel free to fuck off.

This brand of racist bull crap is not just a Heathen issue. It is a Pagan issue. We will not be taken seriously if we don't take each other seriously. We will not be shown respect until we respect one another.
We've come a long way, but we still have a long way to go.

Pagans who cover... Yes, this again.

Last year there was a bit of a kerfuffle about Pagans who have chosen to take up wearing the veil, aka cover their hair and/or body. As a Pagan who covers I felt a mild amount of interest in the issue but decided to ignore it because frankly, I didn't really care. There was a big enough issue though that Covered In Light asked that people from all religions cover their hair on Friday September 21st (2012) in a show of support and to raise awareness. My coven and a few of our close friends all covered as did a knitting group I am a part of. It was a fun experience and I ended up covering the entire day in a hijab style, which is a great deal more than I usually do. Here is a picture...I looked super cute, if I do say so myself.

We are about a month out from September 21st again and I am hoping that Covered In Light Day will happen this year as well. Which is why, a year after all the covering butt hurt, I am addressing this subject. Below are a series of questions I have been asked by people in the past few years. If you cover and you want to answer these questions on your blog, please do.

How long have you been covering and why do you do it?

I have been covering my hair for about three years. It all started when I took up the mantle of tending Brigid's flame. I had my first cill for Her on July 4th 2010. About mid September 2010 I started feeling a push to cover my hair when I was tending Her flame or when I was doing anything at my altar. I talked it over with my husband to explain what I was doing and started covering every once in a while, usually with a pashmina scarf draped around my head. At the beginning of December 2010 I decided to cover full time starting January 1st, 2011. My mother, who is amazingly supportive, got me a few pashmina scarves for Yule and I bought a few tichels online.
I don't only cover because of Brigid, though tending her flame was what kick started it, I had been debating covering my hair for a while before that. I am married and while my husband didn't ask me to cover (and REALLY didn't want me to cover when I first started) I felt it was appropriate given the fact that my spiritual path has a lot of Jewish influence. There is a long history of religious people, not to mention married women, covering their hair for one reason or another.

How does it affect your life/how people interact with you?

I don't think it has really changed much. My husband says that people look at me differently but I have never noticed. My relationship with my father was affected by my hair covering, but that is because I have more than a passing interest in Judaism and he saw my head covering as a rejection of my Heathen roots (I am ancestrally Norwegian on his side) for the traditions of a  "genetically inferior" race of people(his words, not mine). His comments caused a rift in my family and my sisters all refuse to deal with him, as do a few of my cousins, based on his comments and behavior in regards to my head scarves. Granted, the head covering was not the only issue between my father and me but it was the beginning of the end. Literally everyone else in my life has been incredibly supportive and amazing, even going so far as to defend me to people who ask why I do it.

Are you always covered? If not, when/where do you cover and why?

I tend to only cover if I am outside my house or the house of one of my coven mates. If I am home but have non-coven guests, or if someone is at my door, I cover my hair as well. I don't usually cover at home because it is my private area where I can be relaxed and comfortable. The same goes for the houses of my coven mates.

As a Pagan, how do you feel your covering reflects on the community at large?

I don't know that it really reflects on the Pagan community at all. If it does, feel free to let me know because I am not aware of it.

What is your take on the view that covering is anti-feminist?

My take on it is that, first and foremost, it isn't anti-feminist because it is my choice. No one is forcing me to cover my hair. Secondly, my body belongs to me. I own my body. My body doesn't belong to anyone else and I don't owe the viewing of my body to a single person. Not even my husband. The sight of my naked skin or hair doesn't belong to anyone but me, and if I chose to hide it and keep it out of view of the world, that is my right. My covering is actually me taking a stand against the bull shit way our society treats women. It is my way of saying that my body belongs to me and that I decide who is worthy of seeing it. My body isn't for the world at large. It is private.

People like to say that covering is a sign of oppression as well. Yes, in parts of the world, it is. However, I live in Brooklyn, New York in the United States of America. In New York City it is legal for a woman to walk around in just a pair of underwear on as long as she isn't making money off of it. That means I can legally walk down the street with my tits hanging out for everyone to see and there is nothing that the government can do about it. It's one of the things I love about my city. I can walk around topless if I want, just like I can walk around fully covered with a veil over my face if I want to. I get to choose what I wear. I get to be who I am. No one is telling me what I have to do. Also, as I mentioned before, there is a long history of people covering their hair for religious reasons and no I am not just talking about women. Men cover their hair as well depending on their faith. Male Sikhs are religiously obligated to keep their hair long and keep a golden comb in their hair. In order to protect the comb (which they are also obligated to do) they  tend to cover their hair in a turban style. Abrahamic faiths (Judaism and Islam) also have head covering traditions for men. This is usually seen in the form of a yarmulke or kufi. We all know that Catholic Nuns cover their hair but bishops, cardinals and The Pope are occasionally required to cover during service as well.

Covering is not anti-feminist, however, telling a woman how she can dress is. Take note y'all because I have no problem telling someone off for giving me shit over my head scarf.

Do you ever get grief from cops or airport security because of your covering?

Nope. For the most part people leave me alone. The only thing that is different now is the fact that airport security asks to pat my head to make sure I am not carrying bombs in my tichel.

What is your favorite covering style?

I prefer a tichel style but if I am pressed for time (or being lazy) I wear my manky green army cap. Here are a few videos that show how to tie a tichel.

Both videos are great, but there are a ton of videos out there so go to Youtube and search for "how to tie a tichel", "how to tie a headscarf", and/or "hijab tutorial".
Personally, I tend to do a layered crown style of tying. Here are two pictures of what I mean:

Where do you buy your scarves?

Kmart, Target and Old Navy have great rectangular scarves that are made of light/thin materials in the spring and summer. If you want to go online take a look at Cover Your Hair and Covered With Style. They are great for square scarves (tichels). If you want more of a hijab style I can recommend Hijab Girl. I haven't looked anywhere else for hijabs but I know that you can find pashmina scarves all over the place and they are a typical scarf used for hijabs. I recommend getting a few hijab caps regardless of they style you are looking at. They come in all sorts of materials but the stretchy cotton tube caps are the best in my opinion.

That is pretty much all I can think of... if you have any questions feel free to comment and ask.

If you are interested in covering, I say go for it. Don't let the opinions of others stop you from doing something that might be right for you.  If you don't try you will never know...
Also, mark your calenders for September 21st and join those of us who DO cover, regardless of faith/religion, for Covered In Light Day!

Guess how much butthurt I have...go on, guess.

I have epic amounts of butthurt in regards to people saying bad shit about Loki. I highly doubt I am alone in this...
The thing that really chaps my ass is when people talk about Loki's crimes against the gods. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? His crimes against Them?

To punish Loki for His crimes Vali was turned into a wolf and was set on Narvi. Vali ripped Narvi apart. While Loki watched... Loki was then bound to boulders with Narvi's entrails.
Sigyn tends to Loki day and night, Her loving hands holding the bowl that catches the snakes venom so that He wont be burned. She stands there and looks at Her beloved, bound by their child's remains, and can do nothing but catch the venom in an attempt to ease His pain.

How in the heck is that fair? What does the killing of children prove besides the fact that the other gods are just as 'cruel' as Loki.

This rant is brought to you by this question over on Grumpy Lokean Elder's blog.
Whenever someone asks me how I can love Him considering His hand in Ragnarok I always respond with this question:

"What would you do if your children were murdered before your eyes?"

I spoke to a Heathen friend about Loki at a recent Pagan festival that I was at. I made a reference to Loki being bound with his child's entrails and she asked me if I was positive that that was fact and not UPG.
It is easy to paint Him with the brush that makes him the villain. It is harder to look at Him and realize that He is also a victim. Sure, He fucked about and caused havoc...but so did They.

It's easy to blame someone when they are too weak to defend themselves.

Lammas ~ Lughnasadh ~ Lùnastal

A dear friend of mine is a devotee of Lugh. When she smiles you can feel His sunshine pouring out of her. It's a wonderful thing to be around.

A few months ago she and I had an in depth conversation about Lugh, boobs and the many meanings of the word dude. I was born and raised on the West Coast and speak Dude fluently. Apparently, so does Lugh. I know, no one here is shocked. Not long after the Lugh-Dude-Boobs conversations I found this picture. 

Now, before anyone out there in Pagan Internetland gets their knickers in a twist, please note that I am NOT calling Lugh a slacker. I just find love this picture as I refer to myself and a Lazy/Slacker Pagan. I also like that I found this picture the same night that I found out that Lugh uses the word dude. My friend I mentioned at the start of this entry and I refer to Him as The Dude from time to time. 

So...basically... this entire post (though really its not that long) was just done in an effort to wish you all a Blessed Lughnasadh. May your lives overflow with joy and laughter this First Harvest and may The Dude shine his brilliant and loving light upon you today. 

Shabbat Shalom - I am a half ass JeWitch.

As I mentioned before, I am slow to do things religiously speaking. 

I have been meaning to work certain bits of Judaism into my personal practice for four years now. I started with covering my hair when I am outside my house (because I am married) and celebrating Chanukah...

Tonight I lit the Shabbat candles for the first time. I said the prayer and I lit a candle for Loki and Sigyn as well. 

It felt good. Doing that one thing. Lighting the candles. Running my hands over the flames three times, covering my eyes and mumbling the prayer to myself in slightly broken Hebrew felt good. It felt like home. 

I didn't do the ritual hand washing or say the motzi blessing, but I lit those candles. I lit them at the proper time and as I write this those candles are all still burning. They are low, but burning.

I know that there is a lot I still have to learn. I have a goal for myself for this year. I need to be more dedicated in regards to Loki and Brigid, but I also want to be more observant in regards to Judaism as well. 

I am drawn to the cultural aspects of the faith. Not Hashem, though I have no issues with Him at all. He is just not my G-d. My interest in Judaism is almost atheistic. I like the ritual of the practices not the faith.

I hope that I will be able to continue on this way, lighting the Shabbat candles at the end of the week and celebrating the High Holy Days and Chanukah. 

Shabbat Shalom! 

Month for Loki day 11 - It's been a while...

I feel bad for not updating for the past 9 days.
Things have been funky and strange around my house. Loki has fallen to the side as I have worked on a few things here...
I hope to finally get a few things done for Him and for Sigyn this weekend.

Anyway...
I struggle with the concept of prayer. I am not very good at off the cuff prayers so I tend to use things I find that others have written (chants, songs, poems and prayers).

I found these online and use them from time to time:

I like them enough that when I get off work in about an hour I will be lighting a candle and saying those prayers.

Hail Loki!

Month for Loki day 10 - Toys for Tots... or something like that.

A few days ago I was thinking of what I could get for Narvi and Vali to put on my altar. All I could think about was toy cars. Interestingly enough, when I thought about the toy cars for Them I didn't think about them being on my altar. I thought about the cars being in the dirt beneath Laufey's branches. A bit like children playing at their Grandmothers feet.

I decided to wait on getting Them something until I was 100% positive that what I was getting was right.

Yesterday I posted that I need to walk my talk. I need to be the devotee I keep promising Loki I will be. I need to be the person I keep promising to myself as well.

Well, today I was in the grocery store and as my husband and I were checking out I noticed two Hot Wheels cars on the end cap where the gum is displayed. When I say two cars, I mean just that. Two cars. No more, no less. One car was two different shades of blue with what are probably supposed to be flames but I think look like waves. The other was a green pickup truck with a bit of "woodland" camouflage on the sides. A bit fitting if you think about it...

I bought the trucks and brought them home. Right now they are sitting on my altar directly in front of Sigyn's ring, Loki's wood cutting and a small bit of brown pine needles that came off of the pine tree I refer to as Laufey.

Truth be told, I spent a bit of time this morning debating whether or not to hold the bowl for Sigyn today. I had a feeling that it should wait for another day.

I am glad I waited. I feel like the toys for Narvi and Vali are a wonderful thing. Not only are the cars for Them, the cars also show respect and honor to Sigyn and Loki as well.

This is a step in the right direction for me.

Here is a prayer for Narvi and Vali. I would just copy and paste it here, but it is not mine to repost.

Hail Loki.
Hail Sigyn.
Hail Laufey.
Hail Narvi.
Hail Vali.

Hail to the family of the Father of My Heart.

Month for Loki day 9 - Shit Or Get Off The Pot

I owe Loki a batch of scotch cupcakes. I have owed Him this batch of cupcakes for well over a year.
I also promise both Him and Sigyn that I would get toys for Narvi and Vali and that I would take up Her bowl and hold it so She could rest.

I am ashamed to admit that I haven't done any of the things I promised.

I have a tendency to put off today what could be done tomorrow. That tendency has cause me a lot of stagnation in my faith.

I read a few blog entries on well known Lokean blogs this morning that made it startlingly clear to me that in the past two years I have let my mouth write checks that my ass can't cash. I am not going to say that the blog entries I read were a direct message from Loki to me. I am not self absorbed enough to think that He would have His devotee's write blog entries with just me in mind. However, I do know that those blog entries were divinely inspired for people like me to see.

Sometime before the end of the month I need to make those cupcakes. Sometimes this week I need to make a cup of tea for Sigyn and get a bowl so that I can take Her place for ten minutes so that She can rest.
Putting these things off again is not an option. If this blog is about anything it is about my absolute need to make a place for Him in my life. In order to do that I need to stop making empty promises and fulfill the empty lingering promises I made over a year ago.

It has become clear to me that in order to move forward I need to remove my self inflicted road blocks.

Hail Teller of Harsh Realities.
Hail Forcer of Truths.
Hail Bringer of New Ways.
Hail Loki.