I once read that if you place a candle in your window on Samhain that it keeps the "bad" spirits out and lets the "good" spirits in. For some reason that stuck with me and every Samhain (okay... usually I start at sundown on Oct 30th) I put a candle in the window. When it starts to fade, a new candle is added. When I had a front porch, I put out Jack-o-lanterns.
This year, all I have is the candle in the window but I know that it is enough.
I've changed a lot in the past year. My path is more defined for me and I am stronger in myself and more confident in my beliefs. Last Samhain the candle was in the window to welcome the good spirits and to ward off the bad spirits. This year the candle isn't a ward but a message. It is a message to my beloved dead. It is shining in the darkness to let them know that I remember them and that this day, this time, is for them.
Tonight I honor my ancestors in general but there are a few specific people I will be saying prayers for and honoring.
My Grandpa Frank is honored today/tonight (as he always is). His picture is a permanent fixture on my altar and after the sun comes up I will run to the store and get him orange soda. I have no memories of Grandpa Frank as he died long before I was born (Nov 28th, 1960). The few stories I have heard about him make me smile and one of them involves him walking through a grocery store collecting the things he needed to make a sandwich and then making the sandwich right there in the store. Apparently he did this when my Aunt Rosie (his sister-in-law) was with him and she refused to go to the store with him ever again. My mother used to open bags of chips and bottles of water in the grocery store when she was shopping and it always embarrassed the hell out of me so I can understand my Aunt Rosie's pain here...
My Uncle Terry will be honored today/tonight. Unfortunately I didn't get to know him all that well. He passed away when I was six. I don't remember much about him except that he was just SUPER tall. Granted, when you are six everyone is tall but I think Uncle Terry really was tall. He was a good man. My mother never had an unkind thing to say about him and to this day she speaks of him with a fondness that she rarely shows in regards to my father’s side of the family. He helped my mother write up and file her divorce papers so that she could leave my father (his younger brother). I'm not sure why but I see that as a true act of courage. One of my favorite relatives is his daughter Alicia. She is every bit the good person he was and when she smiles, sometimes I can see him in her face.
My Great Grandma Cole will be honored today/tonight. When my mother was abandoned by her mother and step-father Grandma Cole stood by her side. She loved her unconditionally and when she passed away in February my mother’s heart broke. I didn't feel Grandma's death as deeply but the sadness that still radiates off of my mother when Grandma Cole is brought up speaks to the place she held in my mom’s heart. I am ashamed to admit that I avoided calling her on the phone because she talked to me about people I didn't know and I rarely wrote her letters aside from her yearly Christmas card. As is typical, I wish I had taken the time and gotten to know her better.
My Aunt Rosie will be honored today/tonight. Aunt Rosie also looked after my mom and refused to stop talking to her when mom's parents abandoned her. When Aunt Rosie died mom was upset but she focused on Grandma Cole (Rosie and Grandma Cole lived together and I can't remember a time when they didn't). I called Aunt Rosie 'Mad Madame Mim' because she reminded me of the character Mim from The Sword in the Stone. Aunt Rosie had a garden in her yard and fake plants in her house. If you touched her fake plants she would slap you with a fly swatter. She loved the color orange and the Seattle Mariners. She and Grandma Cole were huge baseball fans and I find it fitting that last night was the last game World Series. Tonight when I light their candles I will tell them all about the series and the BoSox win at home last night.
My husband’s best friend Nick will be honored today/tonight. Nick was a character. Handsome and smart, skinny as a rail with an appetite to rival Loki's (when he battled against fire in Jötunheimr). The first time I met him he threatened to kill me if I broke my husband’s heart. His death left my husband devastated and to this day that pain still shows in his eyes if Nick is mentioned. Nick was the first person I toasted in Sumbel and he is always honored in my home when we honor our beloved dead.
There are others who I will light candles for. Other people who have passed on but still linger in my heart, but those listed above are the people who I will honor not only tonight but also this weekend when my coven gets together.
May your Samhain/WinterNights be blessed and full of good memories of your ancestors and beloved dead. May your Hallowe'en be full of treats, not tricks. May your New Year be full of love, light, laughter, and happiness.
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